what are you looking for...?
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
诚实
时儿可爱，时儿冷酷的面模
隐藏着一团熊熊烈火
那样的温柔
我也只能听别人说
无为的借口
已听得太多
是谁惹的祸
却没人要说
你心里的话
我从没听过
眼里藏了什么
让人日夜揣摩
离开时，始终沉默
轻柔的脚步声
悄悄地告诉我
这份爱是个错
就不要回头
别说再联络
别用虚伪
这样的对我
你的背影，说穿了
这是你渴望已久的解脱
隐藏着一团熊熊烈火
那样的温柔
我也只能听别人说
无为的借口
已听得太多
是谁惹的祸
却没人要说
你心里的话
我从没听过
眼里藏了什么
让人日夜揣摩
离开时，始终沉默
轻柔的脚步声
悄悄地告诉我
这份爱是个错
就不要回头
别说再联络
别用虚伪
这样的对我
你的背影，说穿了
这是你渴望已久的解脱
Monday, October 6, 2008
誘惑的街
作詞：李宗盛 作曲：李宗盛 & 周國儀 編曲：周國儀 原唱：林憶蓮
這樣深的夜 下過雨的街
連星光就要熄滅 你赴的是什麼樣的約
原無意說這些 只是對你還有感覺
以為一切殘缺 都能用愛解決
可是我除了愛你 沒有別的憑藉
話由真心才說得如此直接
也許是夜色讓人不知膽怯
有了我 你是否什麼都不缺 心再野 也知道該拒絕
有什麼心結難解 竟然你離不開這一切
只是你身在誘惑的街 只是你身在沉淪的午夜
血裡的狂野 對真實與幻覺 已無分別
所以你也無從察覺 情由何時冷卻
你從來不了解 心痛有多麼強烈
如今若要我為愛妥協 我寧願它幻滅
有了我 你應該什麼都不缺 心再野 也知道該拒絕
有什麼心結難解 竟然你離不開這一切
若是我身在誘惑的街 若是我身在沈淪的午夜
你的心是否 會為我而淌血 從此醒覺
from 李宗盛's 理性與感性作品音樂會. been listening to it for almost a year already still as good as the first time.
all you need is love
all you need is love da dum da dum all ye need is love
one of my all time favourite beatles song.
they have inspired me since the moment i listened to their music. they spilled so much sounds of imagination in their songs, whenever i am happy or sad i'll have one of their songs on my tongue. its like they have a sound for everything in life. thats the beatles for me.
when you are feeling down or lonely, i say all you need is love.
we all need love. human love. everyone knows that. some are too egoistic to admit it as a human weakness. others embrace it like a hippie.
some prefer it as a dash of salt. some rush to have their plates filled in the buffet line
we're all looking for that something. the stimulation that all humans need. the need to feel positive, the magic word that makes us tick inside. it can exist anywhere or as anything.
its all about the influx of that colorful and warm feeling you get in your life. you might not need it as much as the loner who sits by himself during lunch. cuz lucky you might have a bunch of friends who listens to your every whine and complaint about something stupid that happened in your life. or just a friend who would call and say hi time to time.
it could be the new pet you just adopted. the band or singer you just heard on the radio. the cute guy who gave you an enticing smile as he walked by. or the girl who never looked in your general direction on your bus journey.
maybe you just realised you can live your life like a strong individual who doesnt need anyones help. you walk the streets alone with nonchalance, loving yourself with all the love you have.
when did you ever felt alone. when no one was at home. your friends were busy with life, no one had a penny for your thoughts. sometimes all you wanted was to get out and play. or someone to think of you. someone to remember your presence on a lonely night
admit it.
afterall, everyone have their own lives to live. no one can be there for anyone forever. for all the empty nights you ever felt. dont you wish you had someone by your side to hold you warm and tight. counting every single stars with you deep in the night. you could just lie next to forever just to watch him sleep. doing silly things just to make you smile. you could get lost looking in the eyes of that someone, just like that song.
suddenly, your world seems different. colors are enhanced like that hd tv. bad news that never came with a good timing dont seem that bad. every stride is coupled with a thought of that person that occupies your heart. when you wonder, with the innocence of a child if you shared a moment with each other in thought, then your cheeks glow with a color called love. it shimmers and illuminated the world for its people to see. and you know it too. like the big zit on the nose you cant hide
you dont worry about the lonely nights anymore because you know, you have found someone out there, who would be thinking of you. just before you go to sleep, you give a cheeky grin at the thought that you would be in the dreams of someone tonight. you go to sleep with a warmth you have never felt from any others. it leaves your smile untouched when you awake. and fuels you with unexplained energy to start your mundane life today.
because, you know you are loved.
one of my all time favourite beatles song.
they have inspired me since the moment i listened to their music. they spilled so much sounds of imagination in their songs, whenever i am happy or sad i'll have one of their songs on my tongue. its like they have a sound for everything in life. thats the beatles for me.
when you are feeling down or lonely, i say all you need is love.
we all need love. human love. everyone knows that. some are too egoistic to admit it as a human weakness. others embrace it like a hippie.
some prefer it as a dash of salt. some rush to have their plates filled in the buffet line
we're all looking for that something. the stimulation that all humans need. the need to feel positive, the magic word that makes us tick inside. it can exist anywhere or as anything.
its all about the influx of that colorful and warm feeling you get in your life. you might not need it as much as the loner who sits by himself during lunch. cuz lucky you might have a bunch of friends who listens to your every whine and complaint about something stupid that happened in your life. or just a friend who would call and say hi time to time.
it could be the new pet you just adopted. the band or singer you just heard on the radio. the cute guy who gave you an enticing smile as he walked by. or the girl who never looked in your general direction on your bus journey.
maybe you just realised you can live your life like a strong individual who doesnt need anyones help. you walk the streets alone with nonchalance, loving yourself with all the love you have.
when did you ever felt alone. when no one was at home. your friends were busy with life, no one had a penny for your thoughts. sometimes all you wanted was to get out and play. or someone to think of you. someone to remember your presence on a lonely night
admit it.
afterall, everyone have their own lives to live. no one can be there for anyone forever. for all the empty nights you ever felt. dont you wish you had someone by your side to hold you warm and tight. counting every single stars with you deep in the night. you could just lie next to forever just to watch him sleep. doing silly things just to make you smile. you could get lost looking in the eyes of that someone, just like that song.
suddenly, your world seems different. colors are enhanced like that hd tv. bad news that never came with a good timing dont seem that bad. every stride is coupled with a thought of that person that occupies your heart. when you wonder, with the innocence of a child if you shared a moment with each other in thought, then your cheeks glow with a color called love. it shimmers and illuminated the world for its people to see. and you know it too. like the big zit on the nose you cant hide
you dont worry about the lonely nights anymore because you know, you have found someone out there, who would be thinking of you. just before you go to sleep, you give a cheeky grin at the thought that you would be in the dreams of someone tonight. you go to sleep with a warmth you have never felt from any others. it leaves your smile untouched when you awake. and fuels you with unexplained energy to start your mundane life today.
because, you know you are loved.
Friday, September 26, 2008
缺陷美
望着一行未完的诗,
不经意唤醒
那沉睡已久，昔日的往事
一个笑容，千个词
将想念的字, 填满空白的纸
每次写到最后时， ，
总是不会画下完美句子
这样的画面， 已重复了好几次
字穷的意识, 早已失去了理智
垂死挣扎的手指, 也无力再继续
就像没有结局的故事
这又是一首未完的诗
不经意唤醒
那沉睡已久，昔日的往事
一个笑容，千个词
将想念的字, 填满空白的纸
每次写到最后时， ，
总是不会画下完美句子
这样的画面， 已重复了好几次
字穷的意识, 早已失去了理智
垂死挣扎的手指, 也无力再继续
就像没有结局的故事
这又是一首未完的诗
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Perfection
Perfection itself is a flaw.
im sure my days spent experimenting with magic influenced me.
though some may call it a form of entertainment. or even a hobby. im not trying to be sophisticated but i do see it as an art.
do you remember the very first magic trick, that left an impression in you. the little element of suprise and excitement it instilled in you. one that you wouldnt mind telling your friends and renacting the scene all over again for the nth person you see.
i craved the attention i never got. i was an exhibitionist. the air of aristocracy made my head swell. that was why i picked up magic.
towards the end of my practicing, it was about 2 years. i've had enough. to be fair, i was losing interest and the money spent was pretty much.
but i really felt what i got out of it was more than what i had expected. minus the ego trips.
it was about the construction of thinking in this performing art that inspired this wall of text.
you see, in magic, what you see is what you get. that was what magicians were taught. so we had to design a performance that was perfect.
every gesture every word said. every movement, every tilt of the head. they are done for a reason. even studying the psychology of a crowds reaction.
the time we spend on that little technique whether its a flick of the pinky to switch the cards around the deck or a wave of the hands that made the deck disappear right in front of you, are all brilliantly conceived by some great magicians.
sure, i can have fifty ways to make make shiny coin vanish under your nose. some vanish it behind your ears, some like to put it in your hands and talk to you about the stars and moon and when their done you realise you were actually holding on to thin air.
hours and hours of unseen practicing were all put in just for that 1 performance that you may or may not appreciate.
whether it made you happy or not, to us it was all that matters.
but what really mattered to me was knowing, that i could have so many ways to achieve the same effect!
it just blew my mind away. cuz you might be doing that pretty coin vanish till your hands get sore, someone out there might have already had an absurdly easier way to do it.
i've said this before, you might want to walk or take a bus, its up to you. but you'll still get to orchard road
and as a grow up, i realise this philosopy is transferrable. it is applicable to life too.
i know i might have lost you somewhere, im just trying to be as vague as possible because i dont wanna reveal any jargons from the art here.
since then this mind of mine, has an obsession. its always striving to look at the other side of the coin. it has a belief that, every gesture must have an agenda to fulfil however minimal. a reason to suffice for everything.
it has enabled me to have extra sensitivity. to things, to situations, to people. i see flaws in others sooner and clearer. i identify problems succinctly. it is something that comes naturally for me.
along the way, the people i've seen. personalities and behaviours of different kinds or the ones like mine, reminds me alot of myself. looking the helplessly strong, or having exaggeratingly dull conversations, or sometimes meeting the philosophically succinct. perhaps deep inside i have this tendency to try to relate to them.
looking at their faces, the body language, the words they use, the way it comes out of their lips, scrutinizing every inch of their aura, determining where this person falls in to. the wannabe or the king of the hill are just one of the many names i have for the people out there.
for every person i met, i vowed to learn something from them, be it their loud and in your face kind of personality, or the soft spoken kind of hospitality. sometimes, when time is not a given, all i needed was the first impression to derive from, to supplement the inexhaustible knowledge greedy mind.
vacuuming all the details and information into the endless pit of greed. i take my time to peel the onion. savouring the scent of the fresh peels, enjoying the little bursts of moist that crackle in to my face. logically determining that, that was why the tears fell. so far so good. this new experience that is. crying for no emotional reason, i am intrigued. let it sting i said. so i abused myself longer till the layers of onion lie scattered, dead, on the floor.
so THAT is Onion.
there are times when i loathe it as much as someone. because it clouds my mind easily. i hestiate more because i think longer. it flaws my judgement in my search for the perfect answer.
and more importantly, it raises the ego. so high that it has overlooked myself. solving problems with such accuracy has sowed poisonous seeds in me. with the inability to look at my own flaws. it is incurable.
there are those who are already looking at me with a predisposed attitude. one that says whatever i spew is unnecessarily redundant. i dont blame them.
i guess its just an obsession with Balance
everytime i have a good vibe of something, i almost immediately look for any flaws. just when i say i'm bloody right about anything, i'll prove myself wrong.
i just want to feel the whole situation. look at it under different lights and angles.
all because i know i have to be wrong somewhere.
it is a weird and cynical obsession.
but really, its just my flawed perfection
im sure my days spent experimenting with magic influenced me.
though some may call it a form of entertainment. or even a hobby. im not trying to be sophisticated but i do see it as an art.
do you remember the very first magic trick, that left an impression in you. the little element of suprise and excitement it instilled in you. one that you wouldnt mind telling your friends and renacting the scene all over again for the nth person you see.
i craved the attention i never got. i was an exhibitionist. the air of aristocracy made my head swell. that was why i picked up magic.
towards the end of my practicing, it was about 2 years. i've had enough. to be fair, i was losing interest and the money spent was pretty much.
but i really felt what i got out of it was more than what i had expected. minus the ego trips.
it was about the construction of thinking in this performing art that inspired this wall of text.
you see, in magic, what you see is what you get. that was what magicians were taught. so we had to design a performance that was perfect.
every gesture every word said. every movement, every tilt of the head. they are done for a reason. even studying the psychology of a crowds reaction.
the time we spend on that little technique whether its a flick of the pinky to switch the cards around the deck or a wave of the hands that made the deck disappear right in front of you, are all brilliantly conceived by some great magicians.
sure, i can have fifty ways to make make shiny coin vanish under your nose. some vanish it behind your ears, some like to put it in your hands and talk to you about the stars and moon and when their done you realise you were actually holding on to thin air.
hours and hours of unseen practicing were all put in just for that 1 performance that you may or may not appreciate.
whether it made you happy or not, to us it was all that matters.
but what really mattered to me was knowing, that i could have so many ways to achieve the same effect!
it just blew my mind away. cuz you might be doing that pretty coin vanish till your hands get sore, someone out there might have already had an absurdly easier way to do it.
i've said this before, you might want to walk or take a bus, its up to you. but you'll still get to orchard road
and as a grow up, i realise this philosopy is transferrable. it is applicable to life too.
i know i might have lost you somewhere, im just trying to be as vague as possible because i dont wanna reveal any jargons from the art here.
since then this mind of mine, has an obsession. its always striving to look at the other side of the coin. it has a belief that, every gesture must have an agenda to fulfil however minimal. a reason to suffice for everything.
it has enabled me to have extra sensitivity. to things, to situations, to people. i see flaws in others sooner and clearer. i identify problems succinctly. it is something that comes naturally for me.
along the way, the people i've seen. personalities and behaviours of different kinds or the ones like mine, reminds me alot of myself. looking the helplessly strong, or having exaggeratingly dull conversations, or sometimes meeting the philosophically succinct. perhaps deep inside i have this tendency to try to relate to them.
looking at their faces, the body language, the words they use, the way it comes out of their lips, scrutinizing every inch of their aura, determining where this person falls in to. the wannabe or the king of the hill are just one of the many names i have for the people out there.
for every person i met, i vowed to learn something from them, be it their loud and in your face kind of personality, or the soft spoken kind of hospitality. sometimes, when time is not a given, all i needed was the first impression to derive from, to supplement the inexhaustible knowledge greedy mind.
vacuuming all the details and information into the endless pit of greed. i take my time to peel the onion. savouring the scent of the fresh peels, enjoying the little bursts of moist that crackle in to my face. logically determining that, that was why the tears fell. so far so good. this new experience that is. crying for no emotional reason, i am intrigued. let it sting i said. so i abused myself longer till the layers of onion lie scattered, dead, on the floor.
so THAT is Onion.
there are times when i loathe it as much as someone. because it clouds my mind easily. i hestiate more because i think longer. it flaws my judgement in my search for the perfect answer.
and more importantly, it raises the ego. so high that it has overlooked myself. solving problems with such accuracy has sowed poisonous seeds in me. with the inability to look at my own flaws. it is incurable.
there are those who are already looking at me with a predisposed attitude. one that says whatever i spew is unnecessarily redundant. i dont blame them.
i guess its just an obsession with Balance
everytime i have a good vibe of something, i almost immediately look for any flaws. just when i say i'm bloody right about anything, i'll prove myself wrong.
i just want to feel the whole situation. look at it under different lights and angles.
all because i know i have to be wrong somewhere.
it is a weird and cynical obsession.
but really, its just my flawed perfection
its been a while
yeah its been a while, since you saw new words up here.
was pretty busy over the weeks. and lazy of course
busy over work. lazy over this.
busy over guitar. lazy with this
busy with anything else but this.
this blog must have felt really confused because i was showering it with love a while back then, all of a sudden i took it all away with not much reason, only that im busy with some other things in life.
my work has been taking up most of my time actually, and when i get back i just dont feel like i have enough time to write my stuff or even touch my guitar. all the raw inspiration i get during the day are still unfed, unwatered in my dirtied white notebook
doing up my guitar is still the priority right now, as you all might know by now, im in the Hark performing team. i'm paired up with this wonderful girl xue lin. she has an incredible voice to hear, and im looking forward to every week to improve ourselves with each other. i feel so bad this week that i dont get enough time to work out that interlude i promised.
just last week end i was at a chalet with all my friends havign an early birthday celebration. im thankful for having such a wonderful friend to do up something like that for me, just because i never ever dare to think of something like this for anyone =) thanks wanting
every other night i tried putting in little bit of work into this. now i have like a few drafted posts, though unfinished. im gonna put it all up by today if i can.
for the regular readers (wanting nia lol) , you should know i seldom do a post like this, but i guess i should do it this time. a raw update of my life to make up for the time lost waiting for me to write =\
ok brace ya selves..
its coming...
after my breafast lunch and run heh
was pretty busy over the weeks. and lazy of course
busy over work. lazy over this.
busy over guitar. lazy with this
busy with anything else but this.
this blog must have felt really confused because i was showering it with love a while back then, all of a sudden i took it all away with not much reason, only that im busy with some other things in life.
my work has been taking up most of my time actually, and when i get back i just dont feel like i have enough time to write my stuff or even touch my guitar. all the raw inspiration i get during the day are still unfed, unwatered in my dirtied white notebook
doing up my guitar is still the priority right now, as you all might know by now, im in the Hark performing team. i'm paired up with this wonderful girl xue lin. she has an incredible voice to hear, and im looking forward to every week to improve ourselves with each other. i feel so bad this week that i dont get enough time to work out that interlude i promised.
just last week end i was at a chalet with all my friends havign an early birthday celebration. im thankful for having such a wonderful friend to do up something like that for me, just because i never ever dare to think of something like this for anyone =) thanks wanting
every other night i tried putting in little bit of work into this. now i have like a few drafted posts, though unfinished. im gonna put it all up by today if i can.
for the regular readers (wanting nia lol) , you should know i seldom do a post like this, but i guess i should do it this time. a raw update of my life to make up for the time lost waiting for me to write =\
ok brace ya selves..
its coming...
after my breafast lunch and run heh
Saturday, August 23, 2008
so far...
on wednesday, i got a call from hark music, where i learn guitar from, saying that i am shortlisted as a guitarist for their performing team.
woot!
though its nothing much to brag about, im just excited because i will be going down later for the briefing.
i remember going into the performing studio packed with fellow auditionees and a temperature meant for penguins, polar bears and stiff nipples.
it was a good thing to be late because i got the last auditioning slot. the bad thing was, i was frickin numb by the cold when i got up the stage.
i wa pretty confident because it was a song i had been playing for a few months now. i remember i really really, really, wanted to play the guitar after listening to this song.
Cayman Islands from the Kings of Convenience
i know it was just an above average song to show your skills with, it was a beautiful song.
i walked on the stage with a cool air about me. i sat down on the tall stool and told them i was Travis. i kept the part about remembering that name under the mic just nice
i played with my heart, and showed my love for the song on stage, to make up for the techniques i lack.
when i was totally engrossed with plucking the strings for the ending, my once dormant left leg t went nuts. it went from a nice healthy rhythmic tapping that helped, it convulsed into minor spasms. oh my fucking goodness
i thought i could lay my feet flat so it would stabilise, but i realise it was because i could not do that, thats why i was straining it through out the performance, by the 4th minute it gave way and started to do an Elvis on me.
so the only way left to tame it was to lean backwards. and it was just a coincidence i was going into the ending solo.
so i was looking really engrossed, leaning back like a pro playing the solo
woot ultimate showboating ftw!
for the truth, im just 9 months into guitar, and that after all the nice praise for the song i did, its only because its the only whole song i can memorise.
haha sry if i broke whatever positive image you had of me
well im just a little frustrated right now cuz i hadn't touch the guitar in a while. now that i finally have a little time to do that today, i have not recovered from the finger cut right in the finger tips of my left index.
i got it when i was cutting some double sided tapes a few days back. ok laugh if you want.... its pretty deep though
anyways thats about it. good nights and oh happy belated birthday to you
jan
woot!
though its nothing much to brag about, im just excited because i will be going down later for the briefing.
i remember going into the performing studio packed with fellow auditionees and a temperature meant for penguins, polar bears and stiff nipples.
it was a good thing to be late because i got the last auditioning slot. the bad thing was, i was frickin numb by the cold when i got up the stage.
i wa pretty confident because it was a song i had been playing for a few months now. i remember i really really, really, wanted to play the guitar after listening to this song.
Cayman Islands from the Kings of Convenience
i know it was just an above average song to show your skills with, it was a beautiful song.
i walked on the stage with a cool air about me. i sat down on the tall stool and told them i was Travis. i kept the part about remembering that name under the mic just nice
i played with my heart, and showed my love for the song on stage, to make up for the techniques i lack.
when i was totally engrossed with plucking the strings for the ending, my once dormant left leg t went nuts. it went from a nice healthy rhythmic tapping that helped, it convulsed into minor spasms. oh my fucking goodness
i thought i could lay my feet flat so it would stabilise, but i realise it was because i could not do that, thats why i was straining it through out the performance, by the 4th minute it gave way and started to do an Elvis on me.
so the only way left to tame it was to lean backwards. and it was just a coincidence i was going into the ending solo.
so i was looking really engrossed, leaning back like a pro playing the solo
woot ultimate showboating ftw!
for the truth, im just 9 months into guitar, and that after all the nice praise for the song i did, its only because its the only whole song i can memorise.
haha sry if i broke whatever positive image you had of me
well im just a little frustrated right now cuz i hadn't touch the guitar in a while. now that i finally have a little time to do that today, i have not recovered from the finger cut right in the finger tips of my left index.
i got it when i was cutting some double sided tapes a few days back. ok laugh if you want.... its pretty deep though
anyways thats about it. good nights and oh happy belated birthday to you
jan
a thing about pity
i've never really liked the word.
nobody with enough pride to stand on their own in anyway should be pitied upon.
i know i wouldn't have reacted that way if the word wasn't mentioned.
its a word that triggers alot of emotions in me.
its the bastard son of Despise.
and yes i despise it.
nobody with enough pride to stand on their own in anyway should be pitied upon.
i know i wouldn't have reacted that way if the word wasn't mentioned.
its a word that triggers alot of emotions in me.
its the bastard son of Despise.
and yes i despise it.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
the stupidest thing in life is forgetting your true self.
change is the only constant
when the world has doubts about you.
it entices. it deceives. it corrupts. it suffocates.
though your heart may be unwilling but when you finally give in, you don't get the liberation you were promised. it kicks you in the teeth when you bowed in submission. spitting in your face and laughing at your stupidity.
then you realise it was all lies, lies just to see you forsake your Self.
every divorce with your Self is filled with regret. when it starts to fade away like a lost lover. you start to chase it all over again. asking yourself why did you let it slip away. slip away to such pressure. when did the love with your Self become a public affair. nothing was worth to show the them at all.
all along, the love was just meant for 2 anyway.
after a while, you will start seeing a new Self grow. some have entirely different ones. some found something similar to the old one.
some never had a Self since.
because nothing will amend the betrayal. the old Self would never come back.
for those in the know, you might think i'm just trying to parrellel things abstractly here with what has going on with my life.
let me just say this. once.
i've always believed in loving your lover as much as yourself. when you ever find a contrast in the balance, you dont really need to convince yourself that other reasons exist for the disparity.
its only because you know that nobody else deserves your love as much as yourself.
Selfishness is the root of your Self and theres no denying it that it exists. any other reasons will just make you seem foolish.
we all just want to stay true ourselves. nobody deserves to be deprived of this nature.
don't direct aggression to this comparison i gave, for i feel its only natural for me to write it in this way i feel is best.
like the last post,
i'm sorry to have mislead any minds to think the way i did not intend for. maybe it was the choice of words that held you by the hands thru the maze. or if you prefer, blame it on the overworked mind.
all i had intended was an analysis of my philosophy and myself
yet i'm proud of it in some ways. because it actually held another meaning i did not know exist.
when the world has doubts about you.
it entices. it deceives. it corrupts. it suffocates.
though your heart may be unwilling but when you finally give in, you don't get the liberation you were promised. it kicks you in the teeth when you bowed in submission. spitting in your face and laughing at your stupidity.
then you realise it was all lies, lies just to see you forsake your Self.
every divorce with your Self is filled with regret. when it starts to fade away like a lost lover. you start to chase it all over again. asking yourself why did you let it slip away. slip away to such pressure. when did the love with your Self become a public affair. nothing was worth to show the them at all.
all along, the love was just meant for 2 anyway.
after a while, you will start seeing a new Self grow. some have entirely different ones. some found something similar to the old one.
some never had a Self since.
because nothing will amend the betrayal. the old Self would never come back.
for those in the know, you might think i'm just trying to parrellel things abstractly here with what has going on with my life.
let me just say this. once.
i've always believed in loving your lover as much as yourself. when you ever find a contrast in the balance, you dont really need to convince yourself that other reasons exist for the disparity.
its only because you know that nobody else deserves your love as much as yourself.
Selfishness is the root of your Self and theres no denying it that it exists. any other reasons will just make you seem foolish.
we all just want to stay true ourselves. nobody deserves to be deprived of this nature.
don't direct aggression to this comparison i gave, for i feel its only natural for me to write it in this way i feel is best.
like the last post,
i'm sorry to have mislead any minds to think the way i did not intend for. maybe it was the choice of words that held you by the hands thru the maze. or if you prefer, blame it on the overworked mind.
all i had intended was an analysis of my philosophy and myself
yet i'm proud of it in some ways. because it actually held another meaning i did not know exist.
Monday, August 18, 2008
the stupider thing in life is being your true self
if you were to characterise yourself with words, what would be the first that comes up in your head?
for me, sarcastic popped first.
i'm all to familiar with that word. i embrace is with open arms because i appreciate the beauty of it. being able to sound witty and cool at times, or just laying the insidious backlash on the unknowing victim. i manipulate it with astonishing ease in sinful comfort. it twirls around my tongue patiently for the prey that deserves its attention. the sweet ring of silence that lies in the wake of utter domination. i love it.
yet, i despise it as much as i admire it.
first for the subtlety it prides on. how glorious it is to creep in the shadows.
for none as damaging as sarcasm it is for human ties to crumble. to summon so much discord with a flick of the tongue, is absurd. friendships have failed because of it. chances might have dissipated in a blink. destinies might have changed charts
all this because of a moment of folly. the adminstration of carefully picked out words, built solely to destroy. none was meant to be salvaged. a serrated blade that is burrowed on your back, and you can't bloody pull out the bitch
because i know it all too well. i ask with my heart and all the lesser experiences i have had.
is it worth it?
is it worth to dent the bond that is shared, that you have built over the years or months with the time that you will never ever get back. whatever happened to the moments you spent with this person, laughing, gossiping, talking about your dreams, even sharing inimate secrets. how you have come to appreciate this person and taking him as your friend or even closer.
i'm not whining about being around sarcastic people all the time. but so what when some associates sarcasm with their egoistic humor and wit they pride themselves with. they rely on a pivot to look good, sound good actually. they never really stand up like the man who return blows head on.
but really, i'm just talking about myself
nobody who has ever shed their love for you however little, deserves such manner of conduct. for a dent is a dent, a scar. no matter how much love is poured back in, it will never be the same.
i learnt this the hard way. for i've wreaked enough to know. its a burden.
and i'm still learning to keep that tongue out of sight all though it rears its ugly tip now and then.
its one of those things you keep away in the dark, away from people.
i'm sorry if you had the chance to see my Self.
hey why should i be sorry for being myself?
for all that cockiness, yet soon, i will bow apologetically before you for forgiveness.
you see, all because i'm human. i know of limitations. i know myself too well for that big head that exudes sheer ignorance. i am a masochistic in that sense.
i find the need to suppress my own views with those that are derived from nowhere but its just my analytical mind working overtime.
i'm just highly critical of myself and what i do, to keep me in check all the time. to not step out of lines. patrolling every corner of the street, to prevent the ugly things beneath the skin from showing.
i wont glorify it as discipline, no i wont. because this is just one of my many simple self contradictions or denials.
lol... still with me? or your already getting out of this web of confusion
people have this thing for each other.
its invisible, its measurable. its a defensive mechanism. its a judge of character. its called tolerance.
because people hate Selfs they dont want to see. lousy characters who flashes their inner beauty can have fun with their sucky selfs till the next big bang comes along.
for those who have it for each other, they snuggle with each other's true self like its their own.
for the other balance, they just stop.
human love is all about tolerance.
when its gone,
Self will come knocking.
one of my Self
for me, sarcastic popped first.
i'm all to familiar with that word. i embrace is with open arms because i appreciate the beauty of it. being able to sound witty and cool at times, or just laying the insidious backlash on the unknowing victim. i manipulate it with astonishing ease in sinful comfort. it twirls around my tongue patiently for the prey that deserves its attention. the sweet ring of silence that lies in the wake of utter domination. i love it.
yet, i despise it as much as i admire it.
first for the subtlety it prides on. how glorious it is to creep in the shadows.
for none as damaging as sarcasm it is for human ties to crumble. to summon so much discord with a flick of the tongue, is absurd. friendships have failed because of it. chances might have dissipated in a blink. destinies might have changed charts
all this because of a moment of folly. the adminstration of carefully picked out words, built solely to destroy. none was meant to be salvaged. a serrated blade that is burrowed on your back, and you can't bloody pull out the bitch
because i know it all too well. i ask with my heart and all the lesser experiences i have had.
is it worth it?
is it worth to dent the bond that is shared, that you have built over the years or months with the time that you will never ever get back. whatever happened to the moments you spent with this person, laughing, gossiping, talking about your dreams, even sharing inimate secrets. how you have come to appreciate this person and taking him as your friend or even closer.
i'm not whining about being around sarcastic people all the time. but so what when some associates sarcasm with their egoistic humor and wit they pride themselves with. they rely on a pivot to look good, sound good actually. they never really stand up like the man who return blows head on.
but really, i'm just talking about myself
nobody who has ever shed their love for you however little, deserves such manner of conduct. for a dent is a dent, a scar. no matter how much love is poured back in, it will never be the same.
i learnt this the hard way. for i've wreaked enough to know. its a burden.
and i'm still learning to keep that tongue out of sight all though it rears its ugly tip now and then.
its one of those things you keep away in the dark, away from people.
i'm sorry if you had the chance to see my Self.
hey why should i be sorry for being myself?
for all that cockiness, yet soon, i will bow apologetically before you for forgiveness.
you see, all because i'm human. i know of limitations. i know myself too well for that big head that exudes sheer ignorance. i am a masochistic in that sense.
i find the need to suppress my own views with those that are derived from nowhere but its just my analytical mind working overtime.
i'm just highly critical of myself and what i do, to keep me in check all the time. to not step out of lines. patrolling every corner of the street, to prevent the ugly things beneath the skin from showing.
i wont glorify it as discipline, no i wont. because this is just one of my many simple self contradictions or denials.
lol... still with me? or your already getting out of this web of confusion
people have this thing for each other.
its invisible, its measurable. its a defensive mechanism. its a judge of character. its called tolerance.
because people hate Selfs they dont want to see. lousy characters who flashes their inner beauty can have fun with their sucky selfs till the next big bang comes along.
for those who have it for each other, they snuggle with each other's true self like its their own.
for the other balance, they just stop.
human love is all about tolerance.
when its gone,
Self will come knocking.
one of my Self
the stupid thing in life is not being your true self.
the stupid thing in life is not being your true self. yes i speak chinese, can't lead, hate study, exercise n wear casual. So!
the above inspired this post. it is my pri sch bud's msn nick these few days.
i have always suspected myself being a walking contradiction. whatever i do, however i behave.
ANYTHING!
okay that was a littleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee exaggerating.
but i think its just fine on my terms. =)
have you ever done something before, that made you think damn i could have done better, damn i shouldn't have done that or i could have given it more thought. most of my contradictions come from that. lets meet Regret.
lets see. have you ever regretted anything? hope it wasn't too bad.
those words above are a few weeks old, but i'll keep it that way cuz i dont like to go back on my words. a little insight for you guys to see whatever had been on my mind at that point of time.
well i wasn't about to start writing anything at this kind of hour and knowing i have to work in a few hours, i was just bothered by the smell of burnt herbs that my mom made by going to bed without turning off the stove
but now that i have gathered my thoughts in the middle of the night, allow me to ask you forget those words and look at this with a fresh mind. =P
lying in my bed gives me inspiration all the time. it goes into overdrive in especially past midnight. sometimes it hints that the tv these days misses me. other times it just clouds my head with thoughts you wouldn't want to know. or it just reminds me that my stomache is too empty to be sleeping on.
this time it inspired me to challenge myself. to finish this goddamn post that i started a few weeks ago... i've to say this has been on my mind all along, i never forgot about this at all, i just did not know how to start it. i was dried up. with work. with everything that had happened.
i know you must be saying whatttttt and you had time to go write all those stupid chinese crap and not have time to work on this. well yeah haha thats me, although i know exactly what i wanted to convey, i was just looking for the best way to start this thats all. thats all.
so i started to ask myself, what does it mean to be true to yourself.
to me, it means being comfortable. being able to freely express your core with no inhibitions of sorts.
we all have this core that exists for us to identify with. it lives to remind ourselves of our own ways. and not to sway. and it just makes you happy to be able to sync with it
i have always believed we are creatures who lived for feelings. we are constantly looking for stimulations that keep us going. be it the creativity you get from staying awake at night, or watching tv shows that gives you no time for anything else. anything goes.
right now, i'm looking for that subtle euphoria.
i'm not comfortable right now. thats why
not because im tired heh i'll try to continue on tomorrow
for now i'll tease you abit with this
along the way, the people i've seen. personalities and behaviours of different kinds or the ones like mine, reminds me alot of myself. looking the helplessly strong, or having exaggeratingly dull conversations, or sometimes meeting the philosophically succinct. perhaps deep inside i have this tendency to try to relate to them.
looking at their faces, the body language, the words they use, the way it comes out of their lips, scrutinizing every inch of their aura, determining where this person falls in to. the wannabe or the king of the hill are just one of the many names i have for the people out there.
for every person i met, i vowed to learn something from them, be it their loud and in your face kind of personality, or the soft spoken kind of hospitality. sometimes, when time is not a given, all i needed was the first impression to derive from, to supplement the inexhaustible knowledge greedy mind.
vacuuming all the details and information into the endless pit of greed. i take my time to peel the onion. savouring the scent of the fresh peels, enjoying the little bursts of moist that crackle in to my face. logically determining that, that was why the tears fell. so far so good. this new experience that is. crying for no emotional reason, i am intrigued. let it sting i said. so i abused myself longer till the layers of onion lie scattered, dead, on the floor.
so THAT is Onion.
the above inspired this post. it is my pri sch bud's msn nick these few days.
i have always suspected myself being a walking contradiction. whatever i do, however i behave.
ANYTHING!
okay that was a littleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee exaggerating.
but i think its just fine on my terms. =)
have you ever done something before, that made you think damn i could have done better, damn i shouldn't have done that or i could have given it more thought. most of my contradictions come from that. lets meet Regret.
lets see. have you ever regretted anything? hope it wasn't too bad.
those words above are a few weeks old, but i'll keep it that way cuz i dont like to go back on my words. a little insight for you guys to see whatever had been on my mind at that point of time.
well i wasn't about to start writing anything at this kind of hour and knowing i have to work in a few hours, i was just bothered by the smell of burnt herbs that my mom made by going to bed without turning off the stove
but now that i have gathered my thoughts in the middle of the night, allow me to ask you forget those words and look at this with a fresh mind. =P
lying in my bed gives me inspiration all the time. it goes into overdrive in especially past midnight. sometimes it hints that the tv these days misses me. other times it just clouds my head with thoughts you wouldn't want to know. or it just reminds me that my stomache is too empty to be sleeping on.
this time it inspired me to challenge myself. to finish this goddamn post that i started a few weeks ago... i've to say this has been on my mind all along, i never forgot about this at all, i just did not know how to start it. i was dried up. with work. with everything that had happened.
i know you must be saying whatttttt and you had time to go write all those stupid chinese crap and not have time to work on this. well yeah haha thats me, although i know exactly what i wanted to convey, i was just looking for the best way to start this thats all. thats all.
so i started to ask myself, what does it mean to be true to yourself.
to me, it means being comfortable. being able to freely express your core with no inhibitions of sorts.
we all have this core that exists for us to identify with. it lives to remind ourselves of our own ways. and not to sway. and it just makes you happy to be able to sync with it
i have always believed we are creatures who lived for feelings. we are constantly looking for stimulations that keep us going. be it the creativity you get from staying awake at night, or watching tv shows that gives you no time for anything else. anything goes.
right now, i'm looking for that subtle euphoria.
i'm not comfortable right now. thats why
not because im tired heh i'll try to continue on tomorrow
for now i'll tease you abit with this
along the way, the people i've seen. personalities and behaviours of different kinds or the ones like mine, reminds me alot of myself. looking the helplessly strong, or having exaggeratingly dull conversations, or sometimes meeting the philosophically succinct. perhaps deep inside i have this tendency to try to relate to them.
looking at their faces, the body language, the words they use, the way it comes out of their lips, scrutinizing every inch of their aura, determining where this person falls in to. the wannabe or the king of the hill are just one of the many names i have for the people out there.
for every person i met, i vowed to learn something from them, be it their loud and in your face kind of personality, or the soft spoken kind of hospitality. sometimes, when time is not a given, all i needed was the first impression to derive from, to supplement the inexhaustible knowledge greedy mind.
vacuuming all the details and information into the endless pit of greed. i take my time to peel the onion. savouring the scent of the fresh peels, enjoying the little bursts of moist that crackle in to my face. logically determining that, that was why the tears fell. so far so good. this new experience that is. crying for no emotional reason, i am intrigued. let it sting i said. so i abused myself longer till the layers of onion lie scattered, dead, on the floor.
so THAT is Onion.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
星期六下午
红色铅笔， 没有方向
一叠空白， 覆盖桌上
首往云海，勾出过往
思念一行，蔓延一张
拒绝牛奶，从不加糖
享受一杯，甜蜜喜欢
wrote this by the pool last saturday, could not get past the first 4 words till a while ago. rewrote it over and over again.
havent touched my guitar in 2 days, havent gotten to putting up the pics yet. still having a head of wet hair at 1243am
now i'm really screwed, aint got enough sleep these few days and i feel the fatigue building up.
greato!
nights,
jan
Sunday, August 10, 2008
距离
在很久以后
在遥远的宇宙
只剩下一个我
孤单的等候
我用我双手
拒绝了邂逅
换来这一生
银河的飘流
另一个宇宙
在寂寞的时候
希望你也会
偶尔想起我
i got these lines in my head while i was humming the theme from howl's moving castle.
i tailored it to suit the music, you can try fitting it in =)
i know i should have updated sooner but coming back at after 9 everyday just drained a little bit of my writing mojo..
hopefully i'll get that long post up by next sun, i've been working on it since 2 weeks ago =\
lazy ass
Friday, July 25, 2008
亲爱的，这样的爱我还不懂
你的爱是天边的彩虹，
永远触摸不到的美梦
偶尔闪烁的冷漠，
会吹起西伯利亚的风
有时候又像无尾熊，
暖暖的抱着不放忪
下雨过后的桉树
总是期待拥抱
期待着，那只熊
可以一起享受
那掠过的微风
桉叶上睡着的梦
随风画过天空
一瞬间看见千万道的彩虹
也领悟了这份爱的内容
像做了一场很美的梦
短暂，美丽的朦胧
永远触摸不到的美梦
偶尔闪烁的冷漠，
会吹起西伯利亚的风
有时候又像无尾熊，
暖暖的抱着不放忪
下雨过后的桉树
总是期待拥抱
期待着，那只熊
可以一起享受
那掠过的微风
桉叶上睡着的梦
随风画过天空
一瞬间看见千万道的彩虹
也领悟了这份爱的内容
像做了一场很美的梦
短暂，美丽的朦胧
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
不会知道
街上情人手牵手，肩搭肩
让我习惯性的将你右手牵
才发现你已离开了我身边
有种距离把你拉得好遥远
原来那是被覆盖的痕裂
那些你不知的誓言
如今已不能实现
忍不住的遗憾留给月光遮掩
却还是掩饰不了一滴落地的眷恋
warning: wall of text
爱情不像读书考试一样，对于一个人的追求
并不是你付出的越多，得到的回报就会越大
如果把你的给予当横轴，别人的回应当纵轴画成曲线
你会发现边际递减率在一个定值之后以非常不可思议的速度上升
为什么，我每天打电话对她嘘寒问暖，得到的只是冷漠的响应？
为什么，在一群朋友出去玩的时候，她总是对我特别疏远？
为什么，即使我竭尽所能的对她好，却仍无法在她心中拥有一丁点应得的地位？
我说：「太在乎，就什么也得不到」
当你太在乎一个人的时候，你的心里能装的下的东西就变少了
满脑子想的都是她，无时无刻都在想能为她做些什么
于是，你丧失了自我，成为一个为别人而活的人。
你不再有自己的生活，不再有和对方不一样的地方
每说一句话，你都小心翼翼，期待能够有好的响应
每做一件事，你都考虑再三，希望她能够被你感动
然后你会发现，聊天的话题好像变少了，相处不在像从前当朋友般的开心自在
她随口说出的一句话，网志上的一篇心情，可以牵动你全身的神经，有时让你开心不已，
但大部分的时候却是让你魂不守舍一整天。
随之而来的，是她开始感受到压力
生命是一种很容易适应变化的东西
如同把双脚泡在热水中，不一会儿就从有点烫变成舒适的温暖
一开始你对她好，感觉是很鲜明，很强烈的
会很开心，会很感激
但如果频率太高，强度太大
就好像坐在按摩椅上太久一般
舒服的感觉不见了，
取而代之的是想要好好静一下的需要。
如果这时还继续强求下去
最后的结局就是发卡甚至被讨厌。
"欲擒故纵才是最高明的技巧"
大概大家听到耳朵都烂了吧。
你知道，我知道，可是就是做不到。
没有办法不对她好。
当我们越是在乎一个人的时候，越难拿捏自己的分寸
不是对她好到无以复加，就是赌气强迫自己疏离耍自闭。
所以，最简单的方法，就是不去在意。
对自己好一点，努力追寻自己的理想
不断的充实自己，为自己的将来做准备
功课不够好吗？去图书馆多k一些书吧
人长的不够帅吗？去健身房把自己变成阳光形男吧
嫌自己口才不佳，进对应退不够圆滑，那么参加社团磨练一番吧
这些事情，够你忙的了
然后，把她放在你心中的优先级的第二位，甚至第三位
会发现，一切都变简单了
不是说两个人就一定会有结果
而是你开始可以跳脱这个泥沼，用更客观精准的眼光
看待彼此之间的关系
不再动不动就心情低落，不再被对方牵着鼻子走。
因为你知道，世界不是由她构成的。
即使失败了，也还有很多值得去追寻的目标。
然后，珍惜两个人相处的时光
在一起的时候，可以用尽全部的力气去对她好，让她如沐春风
而平常的时候，则是为自己的目标付出百分之百的努力，不为了别人，只为了自己。
很轻松的，你不用在烦恼什么时候该对她好，怎样增加相处的机会。
顺其自然，你绝对会被珍惜，而不会被当作理所当然。
最后
成功了，恭喜，有情人终成眷属。
失败了，有点遗憾，也许是不适合，或许是没缘分。
但无论如何，你都是赢家。
因为你又成长了
taken from the net
so fuckin' true
并不是你付出的越多，得到的回报就会越大
如果把你的给予当横轴，别人的回应当纵轴画成曲线
你会发现边际递减率在一个定值之后以非常不可思议的速度上升
为什么，我每天打电话对她嘘寒问暖，得到的只是冷漠的响应？
为什么，在一群朋友出去玩的时候，她总是对我特别疏远？
为什么，即使我竭尽所能的对她好，却仍无法在她心中拥有一丁点应得的地位？
我说：「太在乎，就什么也得不到」
当你太在乎一个人的时候，你的心里能装的下的东西就变少了
满脑子想的都是她，无时无刻都在想能为她做些什么
于是，你丧失了自我，成为一个为别人而活的人。
你不再有自己的生活，不再有和对方不一样的地方
每说一句话，你都小心翼翼，期待能够有好的响应
每做一件事，你都考虑再三，希望她能够被你感动
然后你会发现，聊天的话题好像变少了，相处不在像从前当朋友般的开心自在
她随口说出的一句话，网志上的一篇心情，可以牵动你全身的神经，有时让你开心不已，
但大部分的时候却是让你魂不守舍一整天。
随之而来的，是她开始感受到压力
生命是一种很容易适应变化的东西
如同把双脚泡在热水中，不一会儿就从有点烫变成舒适的温暖
一开始你对她好，感觉是很鲜明，很强烈的
会很开心，会很感激
但如果频率太高，强度太大
就好像坐在按摩椅上太久一般
舒服的感觉不见了，
取而代之的是想要好好静一下的需要。
如果这时还继续强求下去
最后的结局就是发卡甚至被讨厌。
"欲擒故纵才是最高明的技巧"
大概大家听到耳朵都烂了吧。
你知道，我知道，可是就是做不到。
没有办法不对她好。
当我们越是在乎一个人的时候，越难拿捏自己的分寸
不是对她好到无以复加，就是赌气强迫自己疏离耍自闭。
所以，最简单的方法，就是不去在意。
对自己好一点，努力追寻自己的理想
不断的充实自己，为自己的将来做准备
功课不够好吗？去图书馆多k一些书吧
人长的不够帅吗？去健身房把自己变成阳光形男吧
嫌自己口才不佳，进对应退不够圆滑，那么参加社团磨练一番吧
这些事情，够你忙的了
然后，把她放在你心中的优先级的第二位，甚至第三位
会发现，一切都变简单了
不是说两个人就一定会有结果
而是你开始可以跳脱这个泥沼，用更客观精准的眼光
看待彼此之间的关系
不再动不动就心情低落，不再被对方牵着鼻子走。
因为你知道，世界不是由她构成的。
即使失败了，也还有很多值得去追寻的目标。
然后，珍惜两个人相处的时光
在一起的时候，可以用尽全部的力气去对她好，让她如沐春风
而平常的时候，则是为自己的目标付出百分之百的努力，不为了别人，只为了自己。
很轻松的，你不用在烦恼什么时候该对她好，怎样增加相处的机会。
顺其自然，你绝对会被珍惜，而不会被当作理所当然。
最后
成功了，恭喜，有情人终成眷属。
失败了，有点遗憾，也许是不适合，或许是没缘分。
但无论如何，你都是赢家。
因为你又成长了
taken from the net
so fuckin' true
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Bangkok, Day 4
no pictures on day 4...
well there are some.... if you want to know..
i took pictures of my face while taking a dump. hows that!
haha joking wanting! just kidding...! heh heh im gonna get you some antiseptic towels for your birthday just because their good and handy, and smell good, well all in all their good for you. you might not want it but i'll get it anyways! haha
cuz i was sick really bad. i went back to sleep after breakfast and they couldn't wake me up at all. smart ass tcp gave me an extreme cold towel bathe on the neck and back while i was asleep. i was frickin disturbed by that man! the air con the past few days were meant for polar bears and my stomach was reallly weird. i didnt eat break fast much as i woke up at 4 the night before and warmed the toilet seat.
bloody hell! but it was all good fun i know. you know i still love ya!
the girl's went to platinum mall, again! we headed to MBK to look for grade A jerseys. we couldn't find any as we found outlater, edward had mentioned it wrongly, he had gotten his at Suan lum market. damn!
so i endured the toilet runs thru out the day till we hit the airport. it was fucking hell for me i tell you. i was having a slight fever and had to go about places. lucky it wasnt a weekend. the airport was the worst for me. immigration took hours to be done. when i got on the plane i just wanted to sleep and wake up in singapore.
but no... the seats were frickin bad and the top only reached the bottom of my neck. i couldnt really rest on my head, when i slumped in the seat, i knee'd the front seat. man i swear i wont be taking that AA airlines again.
i felt better when i got back to singapore. my legs were wobbly while walking, and my fingers were dead after carrying my bags off the belt.
so that was it.. worst home coming trip ever.
well the trip was fun, i had fun.. hell! we all did... cant wait for somethign like that again guys!
i dont know if you can tellbut i'm really rushing thru this lol. cuz i just got back home from work. been OTing till 9 atleast everyday.
i had said i'll post up my trip details by last week, so i rushed thru those picture posts too. though a little late, i didnt break my word. just had little torrents of emotions running thru me thats all.
i really need sleep.
and time for myself.
and a hair cut for a fresh start, though i know im not ready for it.
and i know its not enough to say it just once more, if you had enjoyed the pics please do thank wan ting for it too =)
nights
jan
well there are some.... if you want to know..
i took pictures of my face while taking a dump. hows that!
haha joking wanting! just kidding...! heh heh im gonna get you some antiseptic towels for your birthday just because their good and handy, and smell good, well all in all their good for you. you might not want it but i'll get it anyways! haha
cuz i was sick really bad. i went back to sleep after breakfast and they couldn't wake me up at all. smart ass tcp gave me an extreme cold towel bathe on the neck and back while i was asleep. i was frickin disturbed by that man! the air con the past few days were meant for polar bears and my stomach was reallly weird. i didnt eat break fast much as i woke up at 4 the night before and warmed the toilet seat.
bloody hell! but it was all good fun i know. you know i still love ya!
the girl's went to platinum mall, again! we headed to MBK to look for grade A jerseys. we couldn't find any as we found outlater, edward had mentioned it wrongly, he had gotten his at Suan lum market. damn!
so i endured the toilet runs thru out the day till we hit the airport. it was fucking hell for me i tell you. i was having a slight fever and had to go about places. lucky it wasnt a weekend. the airport was the worst for me. immigration took hours to be done. when i got on the plane i just wanted to sleep and wake up in singapore.
but no... the seats were frickin bad and the top only reached the bottom of my neck. i couldnt really rest on my head, when i slumped in the seat, i knee'd the front seat. man i swear i wont be taking that AA airlines again.
i felt better when i got back to singapore. my legs were wobbly while walking, and my fingers were dead after carrying my bags off the belt.
so that was it.. worst home coming trip ever.
well the trip was fun, i had fun.. hell! we all did... cant wait for somethign like that again guys!
i dont know if you can tellbut i'm really rushing thru this lol. cuz i just got back home from work. been OTing till 9 atleast everyday.
i had said i'll post up my trip details by last week, so i rushed thru those picture posts too. though a little late, i didnt break my word. just had little torrents of emotions running thru me thats all.
i really need sleep.
and time for myself.
and a hair cut for a fresh start, though i know im not ready for it.
and i know its not enough to say it just once more, if you had enjoyed the pics please do thank wan ting for it too =)
nights
jan
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Bangkok, Day 3
we hauled our asses up the van by 630 to reach the floating market just to avoid anymore great thinkers out there.
this is thailand in the morn
amusing ourselves
why is it them again... lol
excuse me sir... wtf are you doing??
thailand simi ma bo.. salt zhin zui
i present you one of the many salt farms they have...
daily life in the suburbs..
railway station hidden on the road side...
only clue is the tracks jutting out onto the small road to tell you its there...
xiao huang...
i didn't take any of xiao hei the emo black dog though...
the ridiculous thai school bus in the suburban areas
yay we're finally here, pardon the stupid face i'm not gonna blame it on the fact i just woke up =)
daily life the floating market... its like they were getting ready to put on a show for us tourist. oh tourists are here.. i better start frying some coconut cakes if not i'll get fired from this place..
but really, its crude to say this, i pitied them to be looked on as attractions. im guilty of it. very.
delicious cakes though
boat of froots
i finally got some of em cakes hahah
i wanted to get one but i didnt know how to bring it back home lol
cant be seen at the airport with this on my head
nope i wont
modernised umbrelles in such a charming village. not to mention the motorised sampans
warez for sale, pm for price thx
the housing area
attached carpark, uhh boat
ok its a little small, theres a fighting cock in the rattan cage. and a pair of unidentified legs
the ghettoes area..
approaching...
the bukit timah area of floating market..
as we're leaving, we are glad to know we were the greater minds of the day.
i like this
bye bye floating market
oh a piece of crap before we left the place..
we stopped by the handicraft centre near the market..
ridiculously mad skillz
masterpiece crafting in progress... 89%...90%...91%...
due to my ever present fatigue i was asleep on the way back to bangkok..it was nice that i woke up just for lunch.
food was really local, the best meal so far. reasonable too. forgot the corny name though, coconut palm or something.
students in the area were all hanging outon the streets at 12 noon. long, bleached hair for both sexes were seen.
anyways
on to the grand palace
our friendly guide. i keep forgetting names =\
we decided to take a photo of this fly infested flower.
you wont see any flies in this pic cuz their all chillin' out in the nectar room
it was late afternoon when we got back to the hotel. we were all dead by then.
the girls heard of our nice massage experience the day before and it was decided we will go for one that night.
it was recommended by our guide. it was a horrible horrible time for me. the guy was gay and loud. he was laughing and giggling all the time and exerted too much force. as we found out he was only a month new. damn.
it was after the session, we all agreed the place sucked really bad. i never felt so tired before. i thought i was run over by barney and friends. king kong came too. omg how i regretted going in that little shady parlour filled with inexperienced masseuses.
it was then... my stomache acted up. i thoughti didnt have food. cuz our last meal was at 12. i had lasted all the way till now. so we went over to a&w, but i knew it wasn't so simple. i wanted to crap so bad... but it didnt feel right at all. i endured a few more gruelling hours before reaching baiyoke.
that night, i hate the worst diarrhea in my life.
there were more to come....
(i did make room for the fish though, okay you may laugh. hey it was my last night !!)
day 3 sucked for me, well half of it was
if you enjoyed the pics, please thank wanting, without her camera i wouldn't have captured so many precious moments that day. i better find a cam soon...
Bangkok Trip, Day 2
early morning the next day, we headed to the legendary Chatuchak.
we reached at 11, hoping to avoid the crowd.. but great minds think alike and CTC had lots of them.
the inner lanes were hideously hot. racks of dusty 2nd handshoes. bags shirts.. oxygen seeping away from your insides, you had to go for breathers whenever there were junctions to get out.
ventilation was bad. and the girls decided to go tackle platinum mall again.
as boys will be boys, we went in to for an ego trip. we said we'll finish up 3 more lanes and get out. by the time we started on the 2nd lane, we were extremely oxygen deprived and sweating like pigs.
we decided to bail out half way thru the 3rd lane...
we didnt even cover like 40% of the clothing section
i just wanna say..
ITISFRICKIN'BIG, BOY!
we decided to hop on a tuk-tuk back to our hotel
heh heh heh
he was about to do a turn and i almost fell out of the thing while taking this
yay i finally showmyself
excuse me tcp... wtf are you doing??
after the ride, we learnt never to take it again. no doors on the vehicle. pollution is uberly bad. every breath you take on the road is like finishing a cigarette.
anyway, we decided to go for some thai massage. it was a grand place. the parlour was a 3 or 4 storeys small building, the masseuse was as old as my grand ma and she really helped me out. we all agreed the fee was a little ex but it was good.
we popped over to the platinum mall to look for the girls. we had dinner at some fake som boon seafood
it was pretty expensive for some lousy stuff... we decided to chiong back to the night market below baiyoke to get some supper and THE fish
well unfortunately, we were too late and the fish wereall gone... apparently the guy sells like only X fishes per night. we HAD to get some the next day... we must!!!
and that was Day 2 for you
thanks to WT once again for her camera, without it we'd never have that tcp pic up on the net for eternal shame
Bangkok Trip, Day 1
it was early morning breakfast at the airport staff canteen..
glam shots of us
killing time on the plane..
sup bro!
uhh nothing heh
(flights taking off actually)
uhh nothing heh
(flights taking off actually)
HALLO TCP!!!nb la..... dont ka chiao me pls
finally over... time to kick some balls
yay we made it
time check: early afternoon
time check: early afternoon
hi mom!!
cheese burgers.. 2 pls. thx
excuse me here no ang moh food hor.. tom yam nia.. you understand?!
ok wtf were we doing...
when we had checked in and all we went to take a look at MBK, it was frickin big and unshoppable.. it was a sat and people were thronging in by the dozens. we left for platinum mall in the evening. shops were closing at 7plus.. wtf man.
we suspected there was a national zouk out somewhere in bkk that night..
we ended our shopping expedition for the day and walked back to the hotel feeling extreme hungry...
though we decided to hit the 24 hour cafe at baiyoke..
we risked ourselves for delicious roadside food.
rings of bbq meat, pork satays.. w00t
and........
my fav.. salt marinated bbq fish
we were playing rounds of peakaboos with each other while waiting for food...(no not real at all haha)
(...really!)
tired... so tired......
eh.. someone pls tell her we stopped playing a while ago....tcp doing something!!
.
..
...
so that was day 1 for you =)
special thanks to wanting for her generosity on the camera. really appreciate it bud
special thanks to wanting for her generosity on the camera. really appreciate it bud
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