亲爱的，这样的爱我还不懂

你的爱是天边的彩虹，
永远触摸不到的美梦

偶尔闪烁的冷漠，
会吹起西伯利亚的风

有时候又像无尾熊，
暖暖的抱着不放忪

下雨过后的桉树
总是期待拥抱

期待着，那只熊

可以一起享受
那掠过的微风

桉叶上睡着的梦
随风画过天空

一瞬间看见千万道的彩虹
也领悟了这份爱的内容

像做了一场很美的梦
短暂，美丽的朦胧

不会知道

街上情人手牵手，肩搭肩
让我习惯性的将你右手牵

才发现你已离开了我身边
有种距离把你拉得好遥远

原来那是被覆盖的痕裂

那些你不知的誓言
如今已不能实现

忍不住的遗憾留给月光遮掩
却还是掩饰不了一滴落地的眷恋

warning: wall of text

爱情不像读书考试一样，对于一个人的追求

并不是你付出的越多，得到的回报就会越大

如果把你的给予当横轴，别人的回应当纵轴画成曲线

你会发现边际递减率在一个定值之后以非常不可思议的速度上升

为什么，我每天打电话对她嘘寒问暖，得到的只是冷漠的响应？

为什么，在一群朋友出去玩的时候，她总是对我特别疏远？

为什么，即使我竭尽所能的对她好，却仍无法在她心中拥有一丁点应得的地位？

我说：「太在乎，就什么也得不到」

当你太在乎一个人的时候，你的心里能装的下的东西就变少了

满脑子想的都是她，无时无刻都在想能为她做些什么

于是，你丧失了自我，成为一个为别人而活的人。

你不再有自己的生活，不再有和对方不一样的地方

每说一句话，你都小心翼翼，期待能够有好的响应

每做一件事，你都考虑再三，希望她能够被你感动

然后你会发现，聊天的话题好像变少了，相处不在像从前当朋友般的开心自在

她随口说出的一句话，网志上的一篇心情，可以牵动你全身的神经，有时让你开心不已，

但大部分的时候却是让你魂不守舍一整天。

随之而来的，是她开始感受到压力

生命是一种很容易适应变化的东西

如同把双脚泡在热水中，不一会儿就从有点烫变成舒适的温暖

一开始你对她好，感觉是很鲜明，很强烈的

会很开心，会很感激

但如果频率太高，强度太大

就好像坐在按摩椅上太久一般

舒服的感觉不见了，

取而代之的是想要好好静一下的需要。

如果这时还继续强求下去

最后的结局就是发卡甚至被讨厌。

"欲擒故纵才是最高明的技巧"

大概大家听到耳朵都烂了吧。

你知道，我知道，可是就是做不到。

没有办法不对她好。

当我们越是在乎一个人的时候，越难拿捏自己的分寸

不是对她好到无以复加，就是赌气强迫自己疏离耍自闭。

所以，最简单的方法，就是不去在意。

对自己好一点，努力追寻自己的理想

不断的充实自己，为自己的将来做准备

功课不够好吗？去图书馆多k一些书吧

人长的不够帅吗？去健身房把自己变成阳光形男吧

嫌自己口才不佳，进对应退不够圆滑，那么参加社团磨练一番吧

这些事情，够你忙的了

然后，把她放在你心中的优先级的第二位，甚至第三位

会发现，一切都变简单了

不是说两个人就一定会有结果

而是你开始可以跳脱这个泥沼，用更客观精准的眼光

看待彼此之间的关系

不再动不动就心情低落，不再被对方牵着鼻子走。

因为你知道，世界不是由她构成的。

即使失败了，也还有很多值得去追寻的目标。

然后，珍惜两个人相处的时光

在一起的时候，可以用尽全部的力气去对她好，让她如沐春风

而平常的时候，则是为自己的目标付出百分之百的努力，不为了别人，只为了自己。

很轻松的，你不用在烦恼什么时候该对她好，怎样增加相处的机会。

顺其自然，你绝对会被珍惜，而不会被当作理所当然。

最后

成功了，恭喜，有情人终成眷属。

失败了，有点遗憾，也许是不适合，或许是没缘分。

但无论如何，你都是赢家。

因为你又成长了


taken from the net



so fuckin' true

Bangkok, Day 4

no pictures on day 4...

well there are some.... if you want to know..

i took pictures of my face while taking a dump. hows that!

haha joking wanting! just kidding...! heh heh im gonna get you some antiseptic towels for your birthday just because their good and handy, and smell good, well all in all their good for you. you might not want it but i'll get it anyways! haha


cuz i was sick really bad. i went back to sleep after breakfast and they couldn't wake me up at all. smart ass tcp gave me an extreme cold towel bathe on the neck and back while i was asleep. i was frickin disturbed by that man! the air con the past few days were meant for polar bears and my stomach was reallly weird. i didnt eat break fast much as i woke up at 4 the night before and warmed the toilet seat.

bloody hell! but it was all good fun i know. you know i still love ya!

the girl's went to platinum mall, again! we headed to MBK to look for grade A jerseys. we couldn't find any as we found outlater, edward had mentioned it wrongly, he had gotten his at Suan lum market. damn!

so i endured the toilet runs thru out the day till we hit the airport. it was fucking hell for me i tell you. i was having a slight fever and had to go about places. lucky it wasnt a weekend. the airport was the worst for me. immigration took hours to be done. when i got on the plane i just wanted to sleep and wake up in singapore.

but no... the seats were frickin bad and the top only reached the bottom of my neck. i couldnt really rest on my head, when i slumped in the seat, i knee'd the front seat. man i swear i wont be taking that AA airlines again.

i felt better when i got back to singapore. my legs were wobbly while walking, and my fingers were dead after carrying my bags off the belt.

so that was it.. worst home coming trip ever.

well the trip was fun, i had fun.. hell! we all did... cant wait for somethign like that again guys!



i dont know if you can tellbut i'm really rushing thru this lol. cuz i just got back home from work. been OTing till 9 atleast everyday.

i had said i'll post up my trip details by last week, so i rushed thru those picture posts too. though a little late, i didnt break my word. just had little torrents of emotions running thru me thats all.

i really need sleep.

and time for myself.

and a hair cut for a fresh start, though i know im not ready for it.

and i know its not enough to say it just once more, if you had enjoyed the pics please do thank wan ting for it too =)

nights

jan

Bangkok, Day 3

we hauled our asses up the van by 630 to reach the floating market just to avoid anymore great thinkers out there.
this is thailand in the morn

amusing ourselves

why is it them again... lol

excuse me sir... wtf are you doing??

thailand simi ma bo.. salt zhin zui

i present you one of the many salt farms they have...

daily life in the suburbs..

railway station hidden on the road side...
only clue is the tracks jutting out onto the small road to tell you its there...

xiao huang...
i didn't take any of xiao hei the emo black dog though...

the ridiculous thai school bus in the suburban areas

yay we're finally here, pardon the stupid face i'm not gonna blame it on the fact i just woke up =)

daily life the floating market... its like they were getting ready to put on a show for us tourist. oh tourists are here.. i better start frying some coconut cakes if not i'll get fired from this place..

but really, its crude to say this, i pitied them to be looked on as attractions. im guilty of it. very.
delicious cakes though

boat of froots

i finally got some of em cakes hahah

i wanted to get one but i didnt know how to bring it back home lol
cant be seen at the airport with this on my head
nope i wont

modernised umbrelles in such a charming village. not to mention the motorised sampans

warez for sale, pm for price thx

the housing area

attached carpark, uhh boat

ok its a little small, theres a fighting cock in the rattan cage. and a pair of unidentified legs

the ghettoes area..

approaching...

the bukit timah area of floating market..

as we're leaving, we are glad to know we were the greater minds of the day.

i like this

bye bye floating market

oh a piece of crap before we left the place..

we stopped by the handicraft centre near the market..

ridiculously mad skillz

masterpiece crafting in progress... 89%...90%...91%...

due to my ever present fatigue i was asleep on the way back to bangkok..
it was nice that i woke up just for lunch.
food was really local, the best meal so far. reasonable too. forgot the corny name though, coconut palm or something.

students in the area were all hanging outon the streets at 12 noon. long, bleached hair for both sexes were seen.

anyways
on to the grand palace

our friendly guide. i keep forgetting names =\

we decided to take a photo of this fly infested flower.
you wont see any flies in this pic cuz their all chillin' out in the nectar room

it was late afternoon when we got back to the hotel. we were all dead by then.
the girls heard of our nice massage experience the day before and it was decided we will go for one that night.

it was recommended by our guide. it was a horrible horrible time for me. the guy was gay and loud. he was laughing and giggling all the time and exerted too much force. as we found out he was only a month new. damn.

it was after the session, we all agreed the place sucked really bad. i never felt so tired before. i thought i was run over by barney and friends. king kong came too. omg how i regretted going in that little shady parlour filled with inexperienced masseuses.

it was then... my stomache acted up. i thoughti didnt have food. cuz our last meal was at 12. i had lasted all the way till now. so we went over to a&w, but i knew it wasn't so simple. i wanted to crap so bad... but it didnt feel right at all. i endured a few more gruelling hours before reaching baiyoke.

that night, i hate the worst diarrhea in my life.

there were more to come....

(i did make room for the fish though, okay you may laugh. hey it was my last night !!)
day 3 sucked for me, well half of it was

if you enjoyed the pics, please thank wanting, without her camera i wouldn't have captured so many precious moments that day. i better find a cam soon...

Bangkok Trip, Day 2

early morning the next day, we headed to the legendary Chatuchak.
we reached at 11, hoping to avoid the crowd.. but great minds think alike and CTC had lots of them.

the inner lanes were hideously hot. racks of dusty 2nd handshoes. bags shirts.. oxygen seeping away from your insides, you had to go for breathers whenever there were junctions to get out.

ventilation was bad. and the girls decided to go tackle platinum mall again.
as boys will be boys, we went in to for an ego trip. we said we'll finish up 3 more lanes and get out. by the time we started on the 2nd lane, we were extremely oxygen deprived and sweating like pigs.

we decided to bail out half way thru the 3rd lane...
we didnt even cover like 40% of the clothing section
i just wanna say..

ITISFRICKIN'BIG, BOY!


we decided to hop on a tuk-tuk back to our hotel

heh heh heh

he was about to do a turn and i almost fell out of the thing while taking this

yay i finally showmyself

excuse me tcp... wtf are you doing??

after the ride, we learnt never to take it again. no doors on the vehicle. pollution is uberly bad. every breath you take on the road is like finishing a cigarette.

anyway, we decided to go for some thai massage. it was a grand place. the parlour was a 3 or 4 storeys small building, the masseuse was as old as my grand ma and she really helped me out. we all agreed the fee was a little ex but it was good.

we popped over to the platinum mall to look for the girls. we had dinner at some fake som boon seafood

it was pretty expensive for some lousy stuff... we decided to chiong back to the night market below baiyoke to get some supper and THE fish

well unfortunately, we were too late and the fish wereall gone... apparently the guy sells like only X fishes per night. we HAD to get some the next day... we must!!!

and that was Day 2 for you


thanks to WT once again for her camera, without it we'd never have that tcp pic up on the net for eternal shame

Bangkok Trip, Day 1

it was early morning breakfast at the airport staff canteen..

glam shots of us

killing time on the plane..

sup bro!
uhh nothing heh
(flights taking off actually)

HALLO TCP!!!

nb la..... dont ka chiao me pls

finally over... time to kick some balls

yay we made it

time check: early afternoon

hi mom!!

cheese burgers.. 2 pls. thx

excuse me here no ang moh food hor.. tom yam nia.. you understand?!

ok wtf were we doing...

when we had checked in and all we went to take a look at MBK, it was frickin big and unshoppable.. it was a sat and people were thronging in by the dozens. we left for platinum mall in the evening. shops were closing at 7plus.. wtf man.

we suspected there was a national zouk out somewhere in bkk that night..
we ended our shopping expedition for the day and walked back to the hotel feeling extreme hungry...
though we decided to hit the 24 hour cafe at baiyoke..
we risked ourselves for delicious roadside food.
rings of bbq meat, pork satays.. w00t

and........

my fav.. salt marinated bbq fish

we were playing rounds of peakaboos with each other while waiting for food...
(no not real at all haha)
(...really!)

tired... so tired......

eh.. someone pls tell her we stopped playing a while ago....
tcp doing something!!

.
..
...

so that was day 1 for you =)


special thanks to wanting for her generosity on the camera. really appreciate it bud